3 signs you might be gaslighting yourself without even realising it

Gaslighting yourself involves undermining your own perception of reality, often as a result of self-doubt or internalized criticism. Here are three signs that you might be gaslighting yourself without even realizing it:

Cover Copy

1. Doubting Your Own Feelings and Perceptions

- Why it matters: Self-gaslighting often involves questioning or invalidating your own emotions and experiences, making you doubt their validity.

- Signs to watch for:

- You dismiss or belittle your emotions: Frequently telling yourself, "I shouldn’t feel this way" or "It’s not a big deal" when experiencing strong emotions.

- You constantly seek validation: Frequently seeking reassurance from others because you’re unsure if your feelings or experiences are legitimate.

2. Rationalizing or Minimizing Unhealthy Behavior

- Why it matters: Gaslighting yourself can involve justifying or downplaying harmful situations or behaviors, leading you to accept them as normal or acceptable.

- Signs to watch for:

- You make excuses for mistreatment: Believing that you deserve or should accept poor treatment or disrespect from others because "it’s not that bad" or "it’s my fault."

- You downplay your needs or boundaries: Ignoring or rationalizing the need to set boundaries or address personal needs, telling yourself that they are unreasonable or excessive.

3. Self-Criticism and Negative Self-Talk

- Why it matters: Engaging in excessive self-criticism or negative self-talk can be a form of self-gaslighting, where you undermine your self-worth and abilities.

- Signs to watch for:

- You engage in harsh self-judgment: Frequently telling yourself that you’re not good enough, smart enough, or capable enough, even when evidence suggests otherwise.

- You doubt your achievements or abilities: Believing that your successes are due to luck or external factors rather than your own skills or efforts.

How to Address Self-Gaslighting:

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings: Recognize and validate your emotions without dismissing or minimizing them. Understand that your feelings are valid and important.

2. Reflect on Your Self-Talk: Pay attention to your inner dialogue and challenge negative or self-critical thoughts. Replace them with more compassionate and realistic self-affirmations.

3. Seek External Validation: Talk to trusted friends, family, or a mental health professional who can offer objective perspectives and support in affirming your experiences and feelings.

4. Set and Respect Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries and assert your needs in a healthy way. Avoid rationalizing or minimizing these needs and respect your own limits.

5. Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with kindness and understanding. Recognize that everyone makes mistakes and has limits, and that it’s okay to have needs and emotions.

By becoming aware of these signs and taking steps to address them, you can start to build a healthier relationship with yourself and reduce self-gaslighting tendencies.